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They're fuckin' - the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, I mean, it's on a whole other level. [to Naomi] There is no nobility in poverty. Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. What the fuck is going on out here? While the movie opened to positive reviews, it was criticized by some viewers who felt that it glamorized Belfort's white-collar criminal lifestyle. [to Jordan after the incident] Is he fucking crazy? Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. Stratton Oakmont Commercial: Jordan Belfort: Don't watch with family, seriously. Look, I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? Naomi Lapaglia: Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by becoming rich. Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Funny, self-referential, and irreverent to a fault, The Wolf of Wall Street finds Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio at their most infectiously dynamic. Not Italy. Jordan Belfort: What are your favorite Wolf of Wall Street quotes? So in that sense youre lucky Im not the one who does the hiring around here., contrary to previous assumptions, young men and women who possess the collective social graces of a herd of sex-crazed water buffalo and have an intelligence quotient in the range of Forrest Gump on three hits of acid, can be taught to sound like Wall Street wizards, as long as you write every last word down for them and then keep drilling it into their heads again and againevery day, twice a dayfor a year straight., I laughed right along with her, but inside I was dying. Say hi! By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. vials of coke. Like you married your cousin or some stupid shit, you know? Coming Soon, Regal Yeah, there's like a 60 percent, you know 60, 65 percent chance the kid's gonna be fuckin' retarded or whatever Jordan Belfort: Are you out of your fucking mind? Id suggest you also read my post 33 Inspiring Jordan Belfort Quotes For Success. What is that supposed to mean, you want a divorce? Sell me that pen. Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart? Well, he got depressed and killed himself about three years later. Its fairy dust. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. I'm sure every person has this; it's just that my monologue is particularly loud. Honey, you okay? Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: But he didn't go along with us. Trust me. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and Im not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. Jordan Belfort: So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls Stevie Emerson 1.22M subscribers 1.6M views 2 years ago WATCH BLOOPERS FOR EVERY VIDEO. Max Belfort: Donnie, what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit? Jordan Belfort: Did you cum? Jordan Belfort: I was hooked in seconds. And actually do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day, huh? These little bastards were so strong I had discovered a whole new phase. I want to stay married, Dad, but it's crazy out there. Theyre gonna need to send in the national guard or fucking swat team, cause I aint going nowhere! Jordan Belfort, I am not gonna die sober! Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club. If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blowjob for free. Their fathers are douchebags, just like their fathers before them. Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust, they're to the manor born. Terms and Policies I fucking hate you, Jordan! I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell! Good for you, little man. One day, you will do it right. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. Jordan Belfort, Successful people are 100% convinced that they are masters of their own destiny, theyre not creatures of circumstance, they create circumstance, if the circumstances around them suck they change them. Jordan Belfort, I want you to back yourself into a corner. Maybe sell the house. Get away from the window! There is no such thing as bad publicity. But it's not like what you think or whatever, you know Jordan Belfort: WHY? Perfect Hildy Azoff: I haven't made love to you in so long. Donnie Azoff: You called the captain the n-word. So, Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right? Trust me, okay? Oh, my God. Jordan Belfort: Hey, John. Venice. FBI! I got you. Why why why god, why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down! And the problem with that is that your brain is like a computer: If you ask a question, it's programmed to respond, whether there's an answer or not. Mark Hanna: And eviscerate your enemies. Jordan Belfort: [pauses] We are here to make money! A New York stockbroker refuses to cooperate in a large securities fraud case involving corruption on Wall Street, corporate banking world and mob infiltration. Many weren't happy with the ending, though it was a very accurate representation of this day and time, and falls in line with typical Scorsese films. Jesus Christ, I think you have a fuckin' drug problem. Good morning, daddy. Good! Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. Let me tell you something. You're dealing with numbers. Good! I got a blinkling light because I don't have shit from you. Jordan Belfort: Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price then sold those shares right back to our friends. You're not fucking taking my fucking kids! The Wolf Of Wall Street is undoubtedly one of the best movies to come out in the last decade.Fans and critics are still divided on whether it glorifies fraud or not but there is no denying that the star-studded biopic offers great entertainment. Captain Ted Beecham: The movie depicts Jordan Belforts reckless adventures from his rise to a wealthy stockbroker to his seduction and free-fall into corruption, drug abuse, excess and ultimately imprisonment. Naomi Lapaglia: Hi, fellas! GET OFF THE PHONE! Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: If you have persistence, you will come out ahead of most people. On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. No, everything's fine. Donnie Azoff: Donnie Azoff: Something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki, you know the founder of Benihanna. Daddy shouldn't waste his time. Good! In London. Oh my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! Champagne. You know what a fugazi is? Supply and demand, my friend. The whole Donnie Azoff: I heard some stupid shit. Is she like, a first cousin? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. "Has Brad apologized yet? They all want something for nothing. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. You can't even buy them anymore. My Aunt Emma. Jordan Belfort: Enjoy! Jordan Belfort: Wed love your help. I'm going to hell, Jordan! I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes. Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. and the Its a woozie. Because they said eventually everyone's going to have to give information on this case so at the end of the day it might not even be a factor. You're never gonna see the kids again! Captain Ted Beecham: What? But it gets even better, baby. 3 2 1, let's fuck! The Quaalude, or lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor - that's dots, not feathers - as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. I got five more just like you, bro. Martin Scorsese 's The Wolf of Wall Street is a darkly comedic portrayal of unrestrained Wall Street hedonism and greed that ranks among the maestro's greatest works of the last decade. Jordan Belfort: So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. Naomi Lapaglia: I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. [checks on Donnie] Cause I cant keep track of your professions honey! [reacting to market crash] Jordan Belfort: Its not fucking real. Mark Hanna, Gotta pump those numbers up. Yeah! Jordan Belfort: Don't you fucking dare. So there's a silver lining to that too, honey. On my Dad's side. Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid, and in no time, I'll make 'em rich. Look at this! It's his first day on Wall Street. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. Tootski?Follow me for tootskihttps://twitter.com/ogfz_https://www.instagram.com/ogfz/ What the fuck does that even mean? And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. Jordan Belfort: But I needn't have been. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. This is America. Because if I do decide to cooperate I might only looking at four short years. This movie unfortunately is too raunchy to ever be considered for an award, but it is a quality film. Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. In point of fact, The Wolf of Wall Street: WOLF OF WALL STREET:Wolf of wallstreet: Wolf of wall st {wolf of wall street}:by Jordan Belfort. All the sudden I - one week - nobody had anything down there any more. I put the money on that fucking table, not you! Or maybe manipulate events are the more appropriate words. This is Brad, and Brad is the guy I really wanted. And then once right after lunch. [to the waiter] It's the first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. That was you! Naomi Lapaglia: I don't even know. A place for mercenaries. I was born too - too early. Funny, self-referential, and irreverent to a fault. Donnie Azoff: Cunt, cock, asshole." Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: She you know, her her father is the is the brother of my mom. Privacy Policy I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Jordan Belfort, I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Jordan Belfort, If anyone over here thinks Im superficial or materialistic, go get a job at McDonalds because thats where you belong. Jordan Belfort, But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you. Sweetheart, you should be happy for the both of us. You're not fucking taking my goddamn fucking kids! I'm gonna kill myself. His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they? Come for me. I am not gonna die sober! They dont give a shit about money. Donnie Azoff: Huh? Sell that. Max Belfort: I'm sure. In 2013 it was adapted into a movie by the same name. Think about it. Jordan Belfort: Right? I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: That's that's okay, that doesn't matter. Donnie Azoff: Alden Kupferberg: Don't you fucking dare! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Listen to me, if you piss up the SEC's leg, you end up with your tits in a wringer. It is no matter. And I wanna meet Willy fuckin' Wonka, okay? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: We'll get broad-sided and tip over. Jordan Belfort: There were certain things that you just didnt joke about; it was simply bad luck. [stands up tall, smiling] And if anyone here thinks I'm superficial or materialistic, go get a job at fucking McDonald's, 'cause that's where you fucking belong! I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Mark Hanna, Implosions are ugly. Donnie Azoff: You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. New world. Your hair looks good. Teresa Petrillo, It was obscene, in the real world. Brad: Pride. And who're you gonna be sitting next to? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: I called the captain the n-word? That was so fucking great. Hi, how you doing? Jordan Belfort: [Sees a young broker cleaning his fishbowl] And you know what else? Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. No, there's no alcohol. Mark Hanna: I Ain't Going Anywhere! Nothing. Donnie Azoff: The Wolf of Wall Street is one of the most iconic films of the 21st century Credit: Alamy. Naomi Lapaglia: When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. See, for a brief fleeting moment, I'd forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale. Jordan Belfort: You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you. Who's a faggot? It had nothing to fucking do with me. Jordan Belfort: Pick up the phone and start dialing! Donnie Azoff: If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. Jordan Belfort, You see money doesnt just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better women, it makes you actually a better person. It took 90 minutes for these fuckers to kick in but once they did, *pow. picks her up. You were calling her name in your sleep! What I want to know is, have you got the guts to live? Jordan Belfort, You dont choose who you fall in love with, do you? [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] Jordan Belfort: Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club. Oh my God! Can fucking sell anything. You had to deal with the gold course people, too! No way, baby, no! Oh, I'm good with water for now. And with this script, which is your new harpoon, I'm gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab. Jordan Belfort, the former stock broker whose story inspired the hit movie The Wolf of Wall Street, is suing the filmmakers for $300m (229m). If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Brad: Jesus Christ. Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room. Jordan Belfort: You're lookin' at me like I'm crazy. Bang, bang, bang. Cause I can't keep track of your professions honey! Sides? What a greek tragedy! Married people can't have friends? Oh my God! The easiest way to make money is - create something of such value that . What the fuck is wrong with you? You know? John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. . Jordan Belfort, Theyre gonna need a fucking wrecking ball to take me out of here. Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Look at yourself, Jordan. Theyre not gonna dial themselves. I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it. Does your girlfriend think youre fucking worthless loser? Are you behind on your credit card bills? Don't try to fight it. Max Belfort: You're not fucking taking my children you vicious fucking cunt, you! Alden Kupferberg: Jordan Belfort: No, I'm not fucking letting you near my kids! More importantly, you will learn. In fact, hookers were so much a part of the Stratton subculture that we classified them like publicly traded stocks: Blue Chips were considered the top-of-the-line hooker, zee crme de la crme. Absolutely fucking not. But thats not because youre a failure. Donnie Azoff: It was like mainlining adrenaline. Go on. Oh come on, baby. Let me know in the comments and please share this post to help and inspire others. Patrick Denham: Naomi Lapaglia: The jet skis just went overboard! I mean, what if something like that happened? When you get really good at it, you'll fucking be stroking and you'll be thinking about money. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Of all the fucking days, she chooses today to give me blue balls. Well that's good news. It's flooded! there's some very awkward but funny, laugh out loud, moments that i'm still thinking about and laughing to myself over long after viewing. They're not buying shit. Then came the Pink Sheet hookers, who were the lowest form of all, usually a streetwalker or the sort of low-class hooker who showed up in response to a desperate late-night phone call to a number in Screw magazine or the yellow pages. Come on, baby. Not only is it motivating but the dialogues are hilarious, the acting is excellent and the cameo by Matthew McConaughey always makes me laugh. Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: Mark Hanna: Donnie. Where were they doing it, sweetheart? Mark Hanna: I don't drink anymore. Feel free to reach out and connect. BENI-FUCKING-HANA? We grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know. You don't love me anymore, huh? Without you, they're just worthless hunks of plastic. Let's go the other fucking way! Oh baby. That's the fuckin' point. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: What do you mean you want a divorce? Sell me this pen! Whats inspirational about Belforts story is actually how he was able to recover from his fall from grace. Now let's knock this motherfucker out of the park! You were, like, screaming at people. Pound for pound theyre stronger than grizzly bears, and, if you want to know the truth, they happen to scare the living shit out of me. Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! An I.P.O. The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. You be relentless! Get off me! Fucking whore. I'm in this for the long run, you know? I told you, you're not taking my fucking kids. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: The name of the company, Aerotyne International. So I was a little surprised you asked Christie for my number. Donnie Azoff: No shit. Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! You okay? $430,000 in one month, Jordy. Put the fucking car in the park, you dumb fucking idiot! You understand? Mark Hanna: Naomi Lapaglia: Yet Jordan Belfort: They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. Like, um, three or four. Jordan Belfort: Yeah I'm sure. That's not why I do it. [Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest] So take a good look, daddy. Even more fucked was that he got busted for shit that had nothing to with me. Oh my God! You're doing fucking drugs right now? It's a joke! He said even if you don't get convicted I've got a good chance of getting them. Yeah, no. Jordan Belfort: California, baby! I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it say "You're free now!" She's the best. Donnie Azoff: FUCK! I can get you beer if you want fuckin' beer. Turn around! After all, what was there to say? I mean, I don't want to get personal or anything, but are they okay? Jordan Belfort: Well, technically, $72,000 last month. Chester Ming: Saurel! How about that, faggot? Jordan Belfort: The nice thing about being rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance. Great. So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you don't let him do that 'cause that would make it real.